Monday, December 29, 2008


Trust, Honor, Loyalty-
What does these words mean to you?

People often use these words in their daily lives, and somehow those words seems to have lost their meaning.

Based on my experience in the 17 years that i've been living in; there's none that you can actually label as a 'True Friend'. Everyone will eventually crack under pressure.. and then, you'll see their true colours. Most people that i've known will seize every opportunity they have to step on you in order to achieve what they are looking for.

From Primary to Secondary school- I've seen most people who claim to be a friend and when a situation arise and they can profit from it; They change. It doesnt matter, because this pleague involves everyone- It can be your relative, your best friend, your girlfriend or whoever.

And when these people stab you in the back- and it hurts so much, as if you can feel someone stabbing you non-stop..then you know how i feel. I wouldn't be suprised if 'my friends' of today become my enemies of tomorrow.


Friday, December 26, 2008


There's a story about a girl whom had lost her love and her soul over lust.

She was mine at first, i took care of her..loved her and make sure she was alright. But then, i couldnt always be around her all the time- So i let her go.
Then another guy took care of her.. and she said he seemed to be just right for her- He loves her so much, eventhough she was being unfaithful to him at times. And that shows how much 'he cares about her'.

Her new guy tried to be friends with me. Eventhough i hated that son of a bitch for a whole lot of reason, i kept my feelings towards myself. And whenever i talk to her and such, he would eventually butt-in into our conversation.. (as if i need another reason to kick his face)

But she was happy being with him- Or so it would seem to be that way.
And a whole year has passed since she caught up with her guy...and i was having my relationship crisis. But she told me-

"I used to feel the same way.. i loved u so much and it hurts to see you walked out. I had to endure the pain im feeling because i asked to be released- It wasnt really your fault. So just hang on, you'll get over it how i did when it was about you."

So i took that as she has completely moved on, and he is really the one for her.
But a few months later, she talked to me and she seemed different. It was like as if she wasn't the same girl that i have known all these years..

She came back to me; mentally exhausted, physically injured.
It was because her 'guy' had done something to her- He had took her virginity away. And to cope with the intense pressure from having him to have taken something from her and being scared if there might be a life inside of her- She took birth control pills, she started smoking, drinking liquor..

And the only question to all of this is:
Where was the guy that you thought was the 'one' and in the end, why did you came back to me?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Ladies & Gents,
If you love the tunes from the Drum&Bass genre- then this track is the one you guys should check out.

Its called Granite. Its from Pendulum- and most of their songs are freaking cool!

Songs from Pendulum that you should check out are:
  • Blood Sugar - It has sweet bass and keyboard tunes for you headbangers.
  • Coma - Its kinda slow but it gets you in the mood when ur emo.
  • Hold Your Color - It feels something like from a Fifa Street playlist.
  • Insecurity - This one really sounds Techno.
So those are the few songs that you should check out..if u wanna listen to them now before downloading, i have some of the songs on my Myspace profile. Here's the link- Myspace - RaJa's Profile


Tonight we had the futsal game- and i really didnt understand the "enjoy the game" feeling everytime i play the game..

I guess i dont have a sporty talent like everyone else; On the field, i totally suck. And even if some of my friends try to hide the embaressment from watching me try to kick the ball, its so obvious- You could actually tell from looking at their faces.

And actually, come to think about it- There's no point for me to even try to be better when im playing futsal or football, because eventually i'll end up disappointing everyone on my team. I wanted to be better but in the end it doesnt even matter.

Mr.K says: "Raja, let me tell u something- When i started to play as a keeper, i sucked like fuck. It took me one year and a half to prove them wrong. And now, people are actually asking me to play as a keeper for thier team.

Instant impact is a very rare thing, you must work hard. Keep on working on your stamina, find inspiration for the game and keep on practicing..soon, people are going to ask YOU to play for their TEAM.

Maybe Mr.K is right- Maybe all i should do is to find my rhytm, find the inspiration for the game. But the thing is gotta do now is just to hold on, try to be patient..let them fuckers make fun of me, hopefully someday i'll prove them wrong.


Sunday, December 21, 2008


Deep sealed from inside the NRA vaults comes a video of Navin's Talk Show.
He'll be interviewing a famous Artist-

This week's guest: T-Navin
T-Navin is a world-famous artist who does incredibly stupid things..and on tonight's show, we shall see what he is up to. T-Navin also has a very awkward american accent, so that is why he got kicked out from hosting Mtv's shows.

Host: Navin K.
Cameraman: NRA
Guest star: T-Navin



Ladies and Gents,
I've made a new sport during my working days in BV. This new sport combines two styles of gameplay: Tennis and Baseball.

And i have decided the name for this new sport is- Cockball. And i have a test subject for this new sport- Hariish, from VI. I have tried this sport and after defeating him for 9times in a row, he finally prevails to win a game.

Here's the interview with the first time Cockball champion-

Reporter: RaJa Ahmad Shah
Cameraman: NRA

Saturday, December 20, 2008


There's a concert at Zouk on the 21st.. some band named Nidji is performing there.
I have a ticket..and its invites only.

But i cant go to the concert-
So if you want it, tell me on the c-box. Thx.


I've finally ended my pedophile relationship.. and seriously, i feel nothing. Not happy nor regret. Its like so empty..

But im not gonna waste these words on a girl- Im not asking to be loved anymore. And yeah, im a fucking emo guy..if you dun like it; to hell with you.

The funny thing is, i feel much better because now i can 'breathe'.. and the work i have in BV and the relationship i have is really draining everything inside of me. Im always stressed out..and take it out on my friends.

Now, it feels a little better to have the space to breathe and not get caught up with a serious relationship..its like being released from chains. I apologize if it upsets anyone who reads this- But yeah, i cant be in a serious relationship..Its just not me.


Today was like my only day-off from work.. and what kept me going on today was the fact that i was suppose to play futsal.

And so- apart from that, i went to get myself a new haircut and at 3, i went swimming.. cuz i havnt been in the pool since waterpolo days.
When i was at Bangsar Sport Complex, i went to the office to check out the reservation that Mr.K made for the futsal thingy tonight. And then Mr.K called and said he was sick and blah,blah blah.. so he wanted to postpone the whole thing. And i was thinking like damn weyh..the only freaking reason that i was really looking forward for tonight was about the futsal, and now its fucking cancelled? Wtf?

So then- asked the guy for the resit, because without that- we couldnt play anything damn futsal in the court..
So then, we got the news from Mr.K- the whole futsal is cancelled. And why? Well, because he forgot to pay something on time.. so whatever la. I bought myself a new Nike T90 Ball and played at park near SKBB. And actually- i had a blast of a game compared to any futsal games i've played in BSC with some other cheers to Navin, Hariish, Sameer and his family for coming to the park.

I think the whole thing was just plain bullshit la.., the next time some shit like this is going on- I wouldnt care about it anymore la. Fuck those the future!


Tuesday, December 16, 2008


During these past few weeks, i've realized that i have changed alot.

I think its because of the job that i have in BV. Honestly, it drains me so much... and i couldnt help but having the urge to quit. Its so demanding and its really really stressful. But the only question is- If i quit, then i waste all these time of torment because it'll be over by the 29th.

I have changed tromendously- I get pissed easily, Im alot more evil (more ways than one.), I spent money alot more than how i used to, I've turned into a show-off (more than before), I emo constantly (or as Navin calls it: PMS) and etc.

And that's just a little bit that i have realized from time to time..if i was to see this problem from another person's eyes- I bet its worse. I've turned into a total jerk..

And now, my relationship is in crisis..somehow i hate it when im confused- Im unable to think rasionally, to make good choices and all that. And when it happens, i ask my friends what do they think about it...but the thing is- Im the one in the relationship, not them. Eventhough im called something like..ugh..pedofile, or something like that. But i still cant let go of this relationship..because, im not used to being single- nor dumping others when its longer than 2 months.

So now, i hate everything- My life, work, attitude, love, appearrance, language..etc. So fuck everything, fuck you, fuck the world, fuck life, fuck it.


Thursday, December 11, 2008


Hey guys, here's the something u should check out.
I'm designing a couple of graffiti sneakers- and i want to sell some to earn extra cash.. obviously. lol.

So this is how it works- You lemme know what u want on your sneakers, i design it, u do whatever u want with it.

Here's one sample of one of my earliest designs. This one's theme is StreetGraffiti. So lemme know if your interested by commenting this post..thx. Cheers!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

SMKSH's Prom Story.

I was at the SMK Sri Hartamas's prom earlier today..and it was ok la.
On a 1-10 scale: 6 (should have been 5 but the food was awesome!)
The performance was kinda dull...but its ok la. Not bad.
Thats one of the performance from a band..err...i forgot their name though. lol.

So, thanks to Tunku Amira- I have a ticket to the prom. Yes, its so sad and pathetic that im going to another school's prom..and its because my school is being so cheap by not having one. So, as i entered the place...i met most of my old friends there.
I was from SMKSH; but only for a few months la.. so i made a few friends while i was there. Now, back to the prom story-

I was seated with some 'high-class' kids from smksh..on the reserved table. And there was this guy who brought me back some memories of how i hated this bloody son of a *****. He and his 'cun' girlfriend was across me on that table. And i couldn't help but to hate the living shit out of this bloody male Paris Hilton..and the stupid look i got from his face was just pissing me off. But thanks to the food- im ok.
So, in between breaks of the prom..they made a lucky-draw on the ticket number. And yes- i almost won...but mine was 066, and the number that won something was 166. Dammit.

So everyone had their dates excluding me and some other guys on the next table, which was the 'loser-ish' table. So, i was pissed off.. i went to another school's prom and now i wouldnt care about what stupid shit i would do while im in the event. And ofcourse, i was browsing through all the girls that i saw in the ballroom..

And there were really hot girls, some ok-ok ones, some ugly slutties and etc. So i wanted a date...and while i was on the dancefloor, i saw an old friend on mine who doesn't have a date because she's dancing with the other girls. I went straight up to her and asked to dance with me... and she did. I held her hips and started talking some shit to prevent the awkward silence. Because i would never have asked her if i wasn't bored of being daring..

As we were slow-dancing on the dancefloor, i couldnt help but to finally notice that she's hot! And to think all these while i didnt pay any attention to her at all..what a bummer. So then, after a few songs..i let go of her- and her friends quickly stole her from being my partner. And then i noticed there was a sharp stare on me since i was dancing with my friend....and it turns out to be her boyfriend. Dammit.

So then i tried to shuffle a little and move along and sooner...i stopped and sat down. And then i asked my friend to drive me home. That's the point of this post is-

if it was not for the SMKSH's prom, i wouldn't have noticed that one of my old friend was a hottie and now i feel so bummed out because when i had the chance to do something about it..i ignored her. Dammit.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Today's feeling:
  1. bored from the stupid life-sucking job. (still..i need the money)
  2. gave the Xbox back to Mr.K after a week of fun..*sigh*
  3. got a SMKSH prom to go to tomorrow nite...and yes, someone paid for me and i dont have a date.
  4. close to being broke.
  5. no shisha for 48hours straight...(im addicted, yes.)
So that's pretty much of the things which are going on today. Owh's an interesting story-
A few days while i was working at my store, i asked the woman beside my store to look after it while i went to the gents.
Then, while i was in the gents..on the floor the was a puddle of water, and i could see the reflection of the next door. So, i was wondering why was there noises from the next door? And when i looked at the reflection, the most sickest thing happen.
First, i saw the guy was jacking off..then the next most fucked up thing was there was another guy giving him a ****job.

And if that doesn't sound sick enough...i dunno what does. So yeah- thats what happened during a few days ago. Dude...i feel so sick to my stomach till now. Fuck weyh!! Ewww...!!