Monday, September 29, 2008


Guys, if your in KL for this Hari sure get invited to my place.

Since our Raya treats are limited for this i dont think im allowed to invite as much friends as i wanted. But still, if you guys are in KL on the 3rd of Hari Raya..gimme a call.

Anyways, i would like to thank some of you readers for reading this blog. (i'm running out of ideas about what to write here....) and for those of you who invited me to your place for raya, a BIG TERIMA KASIH to you guys, man. ThankYou x1,000,000!

Anyways, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI to everyone i know..(including Makcik Canteen, Pak Guard, Uncle Taxi, Brader Security), my school friends, my relatives, my close cousins, my buddies, NRA, HardstyleFailure, [C]2, P.U.T.U.S & whoever that wants me to wish them. lol.


I have this problem concerning with my life. It's something like.. hmm.. i dont know how to say this, so im gonna put it this way: The Sheep and the Wolf story.

Let's say that sheep has a problem with how his life is going.. how people reacts to his condition. He thinks that some of his friends are just being friends because they want something out of it. And at times, that theory proves to be right.

So, he sticks to the ones who he thought are his 'real' friends.. and one day, he thought to himself that what if, there is a
wolf hiding somewhere within his circle of friends. What if there is a wolf in disguise among his friends, waiting for a chance to have a bite?

So, with that possibility in his mind.. he checks out his friends, and the result of that is actually there is a
wolf within his circle. That wolf has been waiting for his chance.. and fortunately, he found out just in time.

So, what does the sheep do? ...Only time will tell. Honestly, whoever is that wolf..i hope he'll get busted. And when that wolf does get busted...everyone will be there to witness what kind of a 'snake' he is.

Wolf, if your reading this article.. better watch out.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Friends. That's the word everyone uses nowdays..right? fcuk that! Can everyone be trusted nowdays? Same goes to the word LOVE. it's just plain bullshit..i mean come on! Through half of this year's experience, i know who aren't my friends. who manipulates and uses the word l-o-v-e on me..

let me give you an example from the 'friend' category..
From last december till this June, i was your 'friend'. Then, somehow you lost one of your best buddies and you came to me asking me why isnt that person talking to you? Soon after, you have your buddy back and forget of my existance and you could call me sombong proved that what kind of an fucking manipulative person you are..and to add to the list, i used to be your shoulders when you got rejected from some guy..and now, i get kicked out and had to stay away from your precious conversations with your reclaimed buddy.

From that little tale, you can almost see what kind of a 'friend' he/she was..

Next, an example from the 'love' category.
From febuary till the 7th of July, i was your other half..i was the guy that you always wanted. It didn't matter that i wasn't relegious, it didn't matter that i was a bad influence to you. At the time, i was the 'one' for you..and under that scarf lies a demon who was a much much worse person compared to me. Yes, i'm the bad guy; Yes, i flirt around..but i didn't know that you were a much better kisser/manipulator/liar. You had me under your spell all these while.. and i was just puppet to cover up all the lies. Why? because of the image i'm stuck with: a bad ass player. It's a perfect disguise to cover up everything..and even if i told everyone about the 'make-out' sessions, no one would believe that it was you who started the kiss..

There, another perfect example of how 'love' fcuks me up..
And i could go all night long with all of this..but if it's too long not that many people wanna read it.

Besides, not that many people wanna read an emo post such as this post. And i constantly write about some emo shit i'm, if you dont like it..dont read. simple.


What have you done in this motherfcuking life to satisfy the need for you to be known?

Are you like just another sheep who follows the stupid routine and hope that something exciting will happen in your stupid pathetic life? You stare in jealousy while your friends get to make out with their girlfriends and cry yourself to sleep at night.. well, if thats how your living your life by listening to whatever crap people throw at your face and smile; you might as well just go suicide because whether your dead or alive, nobody knows of your existance and your just another stupid worthless sheep.

Or are you like the wolf; who bends every single rule in the book and live his life to the full. Throw that stupid phone to your ex-girlfriend's face whenever she begins to throw a bunch of crap and bullshit on your face when she tries to cover-up something so fcuked-up, punch the fcuk out of that bastard who's been annoying your ever since he saw you.. Why not try to skip class, punch the fcuk of an idiot, makeout with your girlfriend/your friend (girl), jump of a cliff, swim butt-naked, slap the fcuk out of that faggot who's been in your face since all week? Why not try something totally out of the safe-zone? Atleast you could tell that bastard who wants your ex-girlfriend so badly, dude..go and try to grow some balls and try not to suck up to society, dont be a mr.good-ass and show that your like an angel to everyone. And i bet you had to wait like forever to finally date her when i have totally "done" everything that you could imagine, you fucking little faggot?!

See? Just once, step out of that stupid fcuking safe-zone of yours and be a man. Say something that wanted to say for god-knows how fcuking long you had to keep it inside.. dont get used by another stupid asshole. Show them that you have brains, and balls too.

Dude, its about time that people start to speak-up.. its about time that we stand-up for what we believe in. Its about time.

Sunday, September 21, 2008


I need u to reply this post (comment) and describe me, as how u see myself. Let me know how u feel abt me..for example:

Ali b. Abu:
RaJa, he's always making so much noise. I dont think he can shut But he always saves my butt when it comes to some stupid relationship lecture or whatever crap he's talking abt.. A very very poyo person. Bottomline; i think he's a fun friend (eventhough he's bloody noisy).

Something like that la..write whatever u feel towards me. I bet the negative press will be about 60% of the reply. lol. Anyways, im not gonna log in until next next week..which is somewhen near Hari Raya, so write as much as u want.

Anyways, to all of my friends..i wish u guys SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI. And i apologize if i have offended anyone this year..(i bet its quite a list) Btw, dont ask me for duit broke. lol.

Friday, September 19, 2008


I was really bored yesterday, and Navin was around. So we were really bored and tired from studying for the trials..

While we were lepaking, i took out my phone and started to record a video.. Navin wanted to advertise on the toyota car which was parked somewhere near us. Then he...(well, take a look for yourself)

Thats the advert which i've just Owh well, u cant blame a crazy group of students when they are bored. Bcuz they are just bored. And bored people do stupid things sometimes..right?

This video was based on old chinese dubbed movies.. and the reason why i ran in the end was because Fariz was running towards Navin like he was gonna eat all of us. lol. :)
So yeah, this is what people do sometimes when they are totally bored.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Today, my very very important pencil case has been stolen. Within that pencil case, lies my old AJK Discipline II name tag.. my artistic pens, my 570 calculator.. *sigh*

I'm right in the middle of my SPM trials and this thing happens pulak.. omg. Mampus aku.. All of my memorable stuffs are in there. Especially the old AJK name tag.

If i know who stole that pencil case and my belongings, i would kick his/her sorry ass and fcuking repeat it until im satisfied.. Sial la! This adds so much to my state of depression. I think would like fail my whole exam..cuz i dont feel like writing anymore.

Fcuk u la! (whoever stole my pencil case) Ur mother never teach u not to steal people's stuff ah?! Screw u man! I hope u trip and fell on my pencil case and the pen would stab ur heart and die, bitch! die!!

Saturday, September 13, 2008


No more MSN for me.. some idiot reboot the comp. And now, the only thing i could do with the comp is just to go updating my blog and myspace.

Im seriously feeling more depressed right now.. and feel like blowing up. I feel like just punching some idiot right on his face..i feel like kicking some idiot's ass.'s probably all the anger that i have been keeping sealed inside are leaking out. Its probably just too much depression in my life.. idk. But whatever it is..i want to bump into an idiot, he'll say something stupid to piss me off and i'll punch his face till he eats his lunch through a straw. That's what i wanna look forward to this week in school.

Owh yea, if u find this post very problematic and u dont like it..please let me know. please.


Being in a relationship just spoils the whole thing. People will talk about it...then eventually, u'll break up. And the whole "let's just be friends" thing is just plain'll be so fcuking awkward to talk as friends and hangout after being in a relationship with someone.

Now, there's no more 'her' and nice things to expect when i need some company.. Why? It's cause people talk and it spreads like cancer and eventually, 'her' parents would began to suspect something fishy and i have to back off.

Argh! Dammit! Why can't i have things going my way for once?! Why? Why does misery always come crawling back to me?

I guess its just that im destined not to have a well-established relationship and i cant be happy. I always have to be emo.. i always have to feel miserable.


It's the second week of the form5's SPM trials.. and the first paper for this week is maths. *sigh*
My predictions for this paper:

highest score: 3B.
the usual: 4C.
my reason for suicide: 9G.

Owh well...the best thing to do right now is to study and do these exercises.
Next, hope that somehow on monday i feel the 'mathematical vibe' and could ace the paper..

Thursday, September 4, 2008


This is another method i use to cure my depression: SHISHA-ing. lol. :)

I didn't actually expect anyone to read all of this crap i'm writing in my blog. About my feelings, my depression and a bunch of other stuffs.. and i'm very suprised when some of my juniors tell me that they are reading my blog.

Truth is, well i thought only some of the form5s will read my blog. that's it. anyways, thanks guys... for reading my blog. lol.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


Friends, what are they good for? Are they trustworthy? Are they going to be back-stabbers when the time comes?

See, those are the thoughts which always plays in my mind. And yes, i dont trust people. I just dont.

Why dont i trust the people around me? Why dont i trust the ones who are willing to risk it all for me? The question is, is there someone who would risk anything for a friend? And the obvious answer is NO. Why u might ask? Well, firstly...

Looking back at all of those time when im around the people who i thought would be a 'true' friend, it would seem that i have just been wasting my time around people who are going to stab my back eventually..

They will pretend to be friends, buddies, protoge, lover, pet-brothers or sisters and almost everything that they could be to you.. comfort u when u look emo in public and when the time comes, they'll just spit at ur face and tell the whole world about what kind of an idiot u are for believing in them.

I see these type of people everyday, and the best part is.. they'll actually tell u about who they are hating and who are thier enemies. And thing is, those enemies of thiers and how its being told to u are just little flashbacks to what u had to face when u were with them. How they stab their friends, how they suck up to any idiot that will fall for their tricks (including me, i was one of the idiots and i think i still am).

So guys, be aware that its not how close u are to that person which defines ur friendship but how honest u guys are.. and how they would come and help u without asking for anything in return eventhough its the 100th time u guys are helping each other.

Think about what i've just said. Think about it, Love it or hate it.


I don't know why, but i constantly feel like life is a big bitch. I would feel emo all the time.. and the people around wont ever notice or get sight of it. Its because i know how to hide it.

And this is where i dump all of my emo-ness into... my blog.
Its where people dont actually care about what i say or do towards them. I think its one of the best ways to release my stress and anger..

I dont know where i am in this world right now.. im caught up with stuffs which doesnt even matter most of the time, i'm very very sensitive to whatever's around me, i dont care about other people's feelings because they dont care about mine and towards all of what i've just mentioned: It just shows what i meant when i say LIFE IS A BIG BITCH.

And yes, the SPM trials. (what would i do without those things?) *sarcasm*
I'll be having the trials by next week.. and personally, i dont think i could even pass the exam. Everyone else is ready for it and i'm still struggling trying to figure out stuffs on maths..

Argh! Why does life have to be this way? Why does it make me feel all of this pressure? Why is it acting like a bitch to me?
Dammit.. so many questions, so little time.

Monday, September 1, 2008


I havn't been updating my blog recently, and its cause im occupied with stuffs.
On last Saturday was the carnival day in my school.. and it was ok la. The thing is, i agree to what Qis wrote on her blog recently..

It pisses me off when some of YOU PEOPLE who thinks our skewl sucks and its full of rempits and whatever.. Weyh, please lah. Your school is almost the same and sometimes your school sucks more than ours. Rempits? Well, they are ok. Some of them are even my friends.. atleast they dont try to act all 'high-class' and actually, some of the malays i know cant even speak malay properly.

So before judging everyone else, look at yourself (and your school) first lah! fcuk u la weyh...ak yg ada royalty blood pun x poyo macam korang ok? please lah! you guys makes things worse in this country, not just the rempits. Its all because of your 'high-class' pampered attitudes.. some of us are the ones who has to take responsiblility. Think about what i've just said.. if u have problems about what i wrote, let me know. Tell it straight to my face.

I'll continue about the carnival by tomorrow, im not in the mood right now..