Friday, August 29, 2008


Finally, i get the chance to write something on my blog after a long time of busyness..
Today, we had the independence day tribute celebration. It was kinda dull at first but it slowly rocked in the the end. After recess, some of the guys messed up with the sound system and played some shuffle tunes.

I joined the entourage and began to try shuffling infront of atleast a hundred people at the tapak. It was a bomb.. we rocked it and it was a cool preview before our 'canteen day' which is going to be launched tomorrow..

I'm gonna try and shuffle again when i have the chance tmr.. how about u guys jump in and rock on without a care in the world and shuffle till' ur legs drop off. lol.

Aights, i'll see some of u guys tmr at skewl..i'll be there to heat things up. :)

Monday, August 25, 2008


At last, the holidays have ended. There goes all the time i could have been sleeping and not spending a single dime on anything..

So, i was back in skewl today..same routine everyday. They had the librarian's perlantikan today, which didn't actually launch because it rained right on que. lol. Then, in class it was just simply bo-ring.. the teachers was kinda malas. Nothing happened. *sigh..*

And this goes to show how bored i was...(or my artistic talents, either way u look at it).

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Life's a bitch.. why u might ask?
Well, a guy which i never thought would do such a thing such as being an 'item' with my newly ex-girlfriend has become an 'item' behind my back. Firstly, i wanna congratulate him and his new 'girlfriend' for being such a cute adorable couple..

Secondly, congrats for betraying my trust and doing a superb job of getting my ex-girlfriend behind my back all these while...dude, ur a professional. You made me feel like a total idiot for believing and trusting u all these while. And no one could see it coming from you cause..well, u are like so well mannered and look like an angel infront of me.

And to think i actually thought u were my friend all these while in the prefect board?! Well..that just goes to show how much of an idiot i am.

Sincerely, i hope u guys will stay as an 'item' for a long time..cause both of u back-stabbers fit each other perfectly.. and i couldn't be more proud of having both of u in my life thus far.

Best of luck to him and her.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


The Winner of the Loudest Prefect Award: RaJa Ahmad Shah.

Hey guys, thanks for voting me online..
I expected this award to be mine since last year; and this year, it did. lol. I would like to thank everyone for their cool attitude when i was annoying them.. And ofcourse, i would like to thank the fans for voting me.. *sniff..*

Anyways, i would like to win this award again next year.. thanks guys. thanks.

P/S: There's a after party on New Year's Eve.. see you guys there..

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


It's not entirely his fault. Why is he feeling so guilty?
I was staring like an idiot at the batch of kids.. yeah, don't hurt to be a part of it. It's a little sad to be left out but it's ok, i can chill with this situation soon..

But dude, it's not ur fault. I wouldn't feel much as a loud and hyper prefect if my partner-in-crime isn't there (if i was a part of it).. so chill la boss.

We'll get to see the new selections go 'official' by tomorrow, and we get good seats an spectator of the event. So, just sit down and relax..enjoy the show.

Shall we, ladies and gents? :)


Guys, check out the NavinRaJaAssociation blog. If u guys like what Navin talks about in his blog and my crap stories in my blog, then u'll love the new blog. It's the best of both worlds..

Go check it out and if u don't like it...well, whatever..go live in ur own little world then. So don't be a spoiled brat..and admire the most cun-ted collaboration to ever exist in the BB history. :)

Here's the url, now go and see what's cooking? (sometimes it's keropok is the place to be.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


There's this girl..who caught my attention. She's seems to have a rocking personality, she could make me laugh when i'm emo..she could be sentimental with me when i'm emo.. She knows how dress herself to make her look like a super-hottie.., how much she hates mosquitoes when ever i talk about

I met this girl about a year ago and she's 16; at first, she's like so 'poyo'.. and like so mean-kinda-type girl. But i totally dig that side of her..cuz she seems to be like so evil and so attractive. (personally, i like those mean girls kinda type...cuz they seem to be so mean instead of the usual innocent looking type girls) So, at first..i thought she was a player. But after a while..(a really really long time..) she shows her softer side to me, her vulnerable side.. and at first, i was shocked, i was speechless. I would have never guessed someone like her would be insecure inside..

But seriously, she's's just it takes time to get to know her (a long long time..). There was once where we were lepaking and i just looked at her and no wonder guys fall for her, she's a diamond but mistaken for a glass..

I have been beside her all this while...listening to her problems and such, being envy of the guys who she's with.. But if being a friend makes us closer and would stand out in the test of time, why not? :)

I hope one day, she would notice me as how i just noticed her during these past few weeks..and by the time she notices me, i hope i would still have a tiny crush on her. heh. I mean, who could resist me? (haha...being all perasan) :p

Monday, August 11, 2008


The hols are coming soon, i really need a vacation!
I need to be somewhere close to a tropical paradise to forget all of this headache.. i need some sun, sand, sweet breeze and bikinis on cute girls. lol.

I would like to be at Perhentian Island in Terengganu, the sweet breeze and warm water is always a blast! I wanna go snorkeling, i wanna lay down on the beach, i wanna have a barbecue and i wanna see girls play :)

I wanna be on my uncle's cruiser and go fishing in the middle of the sea.. i wanna jump into the sea and relax. i wish i'm there right now and admiring the sun-set. But i can't, because i have my SPM this year..and i have to study.

But i'm lucky to have my buds, Navin & the Xbox 360.. they'll be sleeping over and i'll call over some friends and we're gonna make some noise. They are my only remedy for this holiday dilemma.. lol. Cheers!

N.R. Association. :)


Have i changed my personality since the arrival of these tromendous amount of pressure and problems? I wouldn't know if i had changed or not in these past few head's in a mess since last July.

The change that i mentioned earlier was about me being silent at times and not socialize with people as much as i used to. I think it was because i somehow love being all alone and go emo all day.. lol. Well, as some of u guys who reads my articles would know how much emo i have become after my break up.

I think my friends also had enough of me babbling about how much i can't get over my ex and bla bla bla.. :)

Over these past few weeks it has been so f'd up.. how so, u might ask?
Well; in school, i don't talk to some of the people who were close to me anymore.. it's like everyone of us has changed paths in life and choosing to ignore each other. I wouldn't be suprised if my friends today will be my enemies by tomorrow..because thats how it's been for the past one month.

I think that's the reason why i like to be emo by myself and think about all these things and try to figure out what's wrong with me..

Yeah, i think that's the reason. I think so..i really think so. :)

Saturday, August 9, 2008


Now, i really hate my life. Why u might ask? Well, firstly, i'm still emo since my last stupid breakup..secondly, my dad was admitted to the hospital for his heart failure and now; my blog is considered 'offensive' to a certain group of people.

Wth? How does my blog become offensive from me writing about my happy times with my buds and calling my batch a 'happening' batch of students? I just don't understand.. please let me know how does my articles become offensive when i don't even accuse anyone straight forward? If u feel the heat from reading my articles, then i apologize. But it's indirectly pointed to a certain group of people who makes my life more miserable...

The only way for me to release my anger and depression is through blogging.. so if u can't understand why i write all of this articles concerning my depressions and emotions in my life, it's because i don't have anything else to rely on when i'm pissed. My only exit is through blogging.

To anyone who finds this blog offensive, come and see me.. tell me what's bothering u and maybe we could come to an agreement on this matter. Don't talk BS behind my back and then tell me that what i shouldn't say or do; because this is MY PERSONAL BLOG. This is where i pour all that anger that i carry inside, so if u can't accept it...maybe i should just let it all out on you. Then u know what i feel..

So, please.. like how i always say in my articles, "try to understand me". This is why i write stuffs on my blog, for u people who likes to judge me before even getting to know who i am. Get it?

Friday, August 8, 2008


Have u ever felt that everyone else around u are feeling loved and their busy yapping about their bf/gf? Yeah, i'm feeling that emotion right now..

For some reason, i noticed that everyone else is happy being in their relationships and honestly, i envy them. Well..yeah, it's not something to be proud of but it sucks to feel like ur being left out when everyone else is smiling away with their proud love stories.

It sucks to feel lonely when the people around u have their partners and ur the only one who's stuck all by urself. And yes, romance genre movies sucks like hell when ur feeling what i'm feeling..

Being in this sort of situation is just torture.. i hate this feeling which i'm stuck with. Wouldn't u feel the same if u were in my shoes?

Thursday, August 7, 2008


Would u care if someone wrote u a poem and expressed their feelings towards u eventhough it's too late for u to even care? Would u trust someone after they have betrayed ur trust? Would u listen to someone even if it might be one of the last conversation u'll ever have with that person? I have something to share, something personal.

This is what i feel right after i got dumped on the 7th of July.. and yes, i got dumped. Laugh if u want to.. it doesn't make any difference with what has happened to my personality, i am now trying to recover from all of this. So this will be my last message from my past relationship.. and when ur reading this; try to imagine what it's like to love someone eventhough they clearly don't share the same feelings with u anymore.

This poem was made when i feel like suiciding..

i was once the great friend,
i was once the a respected person,
i was once a fool.

i did not treasure what was very dearest to me,
you were the only thing which matters the most to me,
you were my everything.

i am now nothing but a tear shed from your beautiful eyes,
i am could only ask to be engraved within your memories,
you have left me without my heart,
as i draw my final breath,
i couldn't help but to regret everything.

as the light dissappears from my sight,
i couldnt stop remembering your face,
how you cherish me,
how you loved me,
how you were my everything.

as i began to close my eyes,
as my pulse begins to fade,
your voice is all i could hear,
the thought of you accompanies my tears.

if only i could be there for you when you needed me,
if only i was not the person i once was,
if only i could have the luxury of time,
if only i was strong enough to confess to you,
if only i could feel what it is like to be loved once more,
i would do anything to prevent what has happened.

why does it feel like this,
why can't i change just in time,
why are the odds against me,
why cant i be together with you again ?

these are the questions which will be buried alongside me,
these are the sins which will accompany me,
these are the doubts which will haunt me forever,
these are my regrets,
these are my wishes,
these are my confessions.

I hope atleast some of u people who reads this will understand what i'm trying to express.. and to my close friends, thanks guys. Thanks for being there for me when i needed someone.


Today, we have witness what a small thought could do to others. If u are a prefect of my school, u would understand. The thing is, i agree that some of the others are treating us without a 'smile'.. but my good friend has tried to show all of us what kind of impact it made on some of us seniors. And today, as my friend's blog is shown to the entire world and with a poor choice of words.. he has been shot down.

Guys, i know that i'm no 'quality-prefect' material.. but the thing is, i couldn't help to think that some of us who tried to tell u guys about our feelings are treated without respect. And yes; i know that respect has to be earned, and u can't respect us unless we respect u. Am i right so far?

I have some unsatisfied thoughts too but i don't think i could say anything cuz in the meeting today, my friends has already said it. And i said some of my piece myself towards Daniel during the meeting But hey, there's alot for us to stitch & make up. Mr.K is right about us not giving u guys the chance to start..and on my part, i apologize.

It was interesting how today turned up, how we 'conquered' this problem between all of us. I admit; i thought it was a popularity contest.. but after all of the explaining from the teachers. The truth of this 'respect' thing hits my face hard.. it felt like one good tight slap. lol.

In the end, i just wanna say that i'm sorry if i did offended anyone during my service as a prefect. I am very sorry. I truly am.

Saturday, August 2, 2008


What do u think of when u are asked about ur future? What do u wanna be? What are ur goals? To me, i'm still trying to figure those answers out myself. I'm still blur and un-prepared to face reality when it hits me..

And yes, i'm suppose to figure those answers out by now because i'm gonna be out of high school soon. By seriously, do u know what u really wanna do when u are thrown into the jungle out there? How are u gonna manage ur life?

There are a billion questions are going to be thrown to ur face..and the only way for u to answer all those questions are by looking at urself and figure it out by urself. It takes time ofcourse, it's no instant-noodle kind of answers... to really figure this out, u have to ask urself.

I am still searching for my answers...i hope i could find out those answers when time comes. Because, i wouldn't want myself to do something i don't want to. But ofcourse, at times..there will come a point where u don't have a choice. But for me, i want to find out the answer before those situations arise before me. Wouldn't u want the same?

Friday, August 1, 2008


I have a friend who like to take advantage of knowing something personal and telling it to the whole wide world. Who likes to see me suffer and pretend that nothing's going on and try to so call 'comfort' me when i'm down. What kind of a person is that u might think..

Well, believe it or not. That particular person has been friends with me since i was in standard4 in primary school.. and he has been a pain in my ass for years and yet, i am still a friend to him.

This person is such a brilliant actor that he could say any bullshit that he feels like saying and they totally bought it and sometimes, i am the victim of his creative crime. I just don't understand why people wouldn't actually try to find out the truth first before believing in someone's story.. it seems to be pointless of me trying to fight back when all i ever get are just lies.

It's funny how people hate me so much for the things that i didn't do. Even if i did do anything to them, whats the problem of telling me about what i've done ? Is it so hard for you to just tell me the truth about what kind of a person i am in your eyes ?

I mean come on, how am i suppose to know what i'm doing is right or wrong in your eyes ? To some people it might be the right thing to do but to the others, i would be seen as the villain and they wouldn't even try to correct me even if they could.

But does it even matter ? In the end, you guys will always listen to all those bullshits that always pointed to me.. right ?

Now, think about what i've just said. And try to be a better person, you bloody back-stabber!!


Wow. It's already August... it seems that time passes us by and sometimes we don't realize it. It's true about what they say: "time flies while ur having fun experiencing this thing we call 'life'." I still feel like i was in the form1 as if it was yesterday..

Throughout this whole time of me 'growing-up' in SMKBB, it's funny to remember about all the stupid things i did.. how i pissed my teachers off, how i was running around the whole school when i was chased by some of my friends, how i commanded the perbarisan during a period of time before the sports day, how i was obsessed with my water-polo team, how i was shouting at everyone's faces telling them to shut-up when i was a probate and a prefect... *sigh*

It's really something i could smile about when i think about it.. and now, i'm about to face the final exam in high school, which is the SPM. think that i actually have already spent 4years in that school and still counting..

I hope that i will be remembered in that school.. because the memories of being a student in that school will be apart of me till' the end of time.